Melon World

Why Aren't You Reading This?

2006-09-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge fan of Garth Ennis. I've loved just about everything I've read by this guy and I'm always shocked he doesn't get the same praise people like Grant Morrison and Warren Ellis get. The first thing I ever read by Ennis was Preacher, which is pretty much the best comic series I've ever read in the 20 or so years I've been reading comics. He has a way of going from really serious, to hilarious, to disgusting in the span of a few pages.

There's one book in particular that he's writing right now that I think is one of the best books out there at the moment. MAX Punisher. If you're reading it, you already know how good this book is. If you aren't........well........why not?

Now, I realize there aren't a lot of fans of the character out there. Honestly, I can count on one hand the number of good Punisher stories I've read. Let's face it. There's not a lot of depth to the character. To sum it up, he's a green beret who's family was wiped out by the mob. So what does he do? Why, he does what any rational person would do. He wears a skull, gets some guns and starts wasting mobsters, of course.

But the great thing about this book is that Ennis portrays Frank Castle as a complete lunatic with no emotion. He's essentially a killing machine. And the book is less about him and more about the horrible people he kills. He spends a good portion of the story making the villains so dispicable that by the time Frank catches up to them, you want to see them killed. And Ennis follows this up with some of the most disgusting, graphic and creative ways of killing people I've ever seen.

Be warned. This book is not for those with a weak stomach. It's graphic and bloody. But if that kind of thing doesn't bother you too much, you should be happily slapping your $3 a month down for this book.

One of my favorite stories is The Slavers. This is about a sex slave ring and the villains are the most disgusting people you can imagine. In the first issue, a woman escapes to find help and runs into Frank. She tells him her story and the first issue ends with one of the coolest lines ever. "By the time she finished her story, I knew a lot of men would have to die." This story also has one of the most gruesome endings as well.

I absolutely love this book. It's extremely rare that I buy single issues or something and enjoy it so much that I go out and buy the hardcovers as well. But I see myself reading these stories over and over again and I figure a harcover will survive that much reading. Anyway, check it out. If you don't like it, I owe you a coke.

Civil War: Liberal Bias (Spoilers)

2006-07-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

Civil War is now up to three issues, so I think it's fair to criticize it now. It didn't seem right to judge something by only 1 or 2 issues, but I think at 3 issues, it's okay. So, by popular demand (actually, I just mean Carrie) I'll share my thoughts on Marvel's big summer crossover of the year so far.

First of all, I have to say that I really like the concept behind this. I've always wanted to see a big war of the superheroes and I like the whole idea of heroes divided over giving up their secret identities. It's a concept that's been done before, but it's always good for a cool story.

Now, personally, I'm Pro-Registration in principle. It makes sense to me. After all, superheroes are vigilantes and that's illegal. When you think about it, what right do these people have to go around causing massive amounts of property damage (and never offering to help clean it up), beating people up and operating outside of the law. If you think about it, Captain America could just barge into your house, kick you butt and rifle through all your personal belongings and you'd just have to sit there and take it. After all, Cap doesn't operate by the same rules the police have to. He doesn't need a warrant. He doesn't need a badge. So who protects people when the heroes get out of hand?

The point of view from the heroes' perspective is that revealing their identity puts their family and friends in danger. When Spidey takes off his mask, Doctor Octopus is bound to go after Mary Jane. But shouldn't that risk be assumed? When you get inot that line of business, you have to accept the risks. And if there's a Federal superhero agency, why can't the government protect their families like they do for undercover FBI agents? Or just have the goverment keep that information secret? I mean, how many people in witness protection programs are ever found? Maybe .0001%?

But when you read this story, it's impossible not to root for Captain America. After all, it seem like Mark Millar went out of his way to make Tony Stark seem like a bad guy and make Reed Richards a creep who doesn't love his wife anymore all of a sudden. I mean, after 40 years of being good guys, all of a sudden they're ready to stab their freinds and families in the back. Seems a bit out of character to me.

So far, it's not a bad story other than the deliberate slant towards Anit-Registration. The art is absolutely beautiful. Steve McNiven is amazing. I'd love to see him do the monthly art on Iron Man. And despite it's flaws, Mark Millar is telling a very interesting story. But I'm having the same problem I had with Infinite Crisis. You really need to read a bunch of additional books to get the big picture. Otherwise it just seems like a lot of random events with no explanation. I can only imagine what'll be discussed in the X-Men and Young Avengers/Runaways minis. Plus, I already shelled out money for the Illuminati special (which was amazing, by the way). If these stories are so huge in scale, why don't they just make the whole thing longer. Instead of 7 issues, why not do 12 and tell the whole thing in one series? I always feel like a sucker after these events.

But the best thing about this series? The return of Thor. Finally!

NY Yankees Mid-Season Grades

2006-07-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

1. Jason Giambi- Looks like last year wasn't a fluke! Average could be higher, but his OBP is great, plus he's bringing some serious power to the lineup. So glad to see he's back to form. B+

2. Robinson Cano- This guy's already a star second baseman. One of the best hitters on the team.......hell, the league! Still a little shakey on defense, but that's more to inexperience than ability. He's already surpassed my expectations. A

3. Derek Jeter- He just continues to be Derek Jeter. A+

4. Alex Rodriguez- Batting average could be higher. I'd like to see him at least stay above .290 and actually be able to hit with runners on base. Power is heating up and it looks like he's starting to get into a grove. I expect a beg second half. Errors are inexcusable though. Way too many for a player of his caliber. C+

5. Jorge Posada- Having a great year, average-wise and an even better year behind the plate. Even threw out Carl Crawford a couple times recently. I think he's certainly put a lot of the "he's too old" naysayers to rest. B+

6. Johnny Damon- Doing exactly what was expected. Getting on base and stealing. Giving some solid defense too. B+

7. Bernie Williams- Where would they be without him? He's hitting much better than expected, doing a decent job in right field and I don't dread when he comes up to the plate with runners on. B+

8. Melky Cabrera- Hard to believe this is the same guy from just one year ago. He's matured a ton and has been impressing me most with his glove. Totally didn't expect that. He just keep making great plays and he's got an arm like a cannon. Trailed off in his hitting but now he's getting hot again. That's a really good sign. B

9. Andy Phillips- Better defense than he's given credit for. Hitting needs to be better, though. He had a hot streak for a while, but it looks like he's cooled off. Hopefully he'll work with Mattingly and get that swing going again. As far as back-up 1st baseman go, he's average. Not bad, but nothing fantastic. C

10. Miguel Cairo- You can't ask for a better bench guy. He does it all. Steals bases, bunts, plays anywhere in the infield you need him and give you some abover average defense. This was one of the best moves Cashman made in the offseason. A+

11. Kelly Stinnett- Meh. Solid behind the plate, but that's about it. C-

12.. Bubba Crosby- Outstanding defensive player, so-so hitter. Always a great guy to have on the bases because of his speed, but I wish he'd get there more often. Needs to become more disciplined at the plate. But not a bad back-up. C+

13. Randy Johnson- He was absolutely awful early in the season. Honestly, the peanut guy had a better arm. Looks like he's smartened up and made some adjustments and he's been looking much better, but he's not even close to being the ace he was expected to be. He's a good example of why Wins doens't always mean good pitching. D+

14. Mike Mussina- Where are all those people who laughed when I said I think he could rebound this year? He's become the ace. You can count on him to go late in the game and give you quality pitching. A+

15. Shawn Chacon- Disaster. F

16. Chien Ming Wang- This guy has proven last year wasn't a fluke for him. He's the real deal. A very good #3 guy. Always keeps his cool, and having Jeter and Cano behind him ceertaily helps him out with all those ground balls. Glad to see the Yanks have developed a good pitcher.........finally! A

17. Jared Wright- Way better than expected. It's sad when I'd rather see the #5 guy pitch than Randy Johnson, but what can you do? Doesn't go deep in the game, but will give you very solid 6 innings. I expected nothing and this guy has impressed me. Hopefully he keeps it up. B

18. Bullpen- Rivera is still amazing. Farnsworth give me an ulcer every time he's out there. Proctor is better than his numbers but he's exhausted and it's showing. TJ Beam has looked very good othre than that one severe beating he took. Mike Myers is so-so. He only pitches to one or two batters and even then, he doesn't always get the job done. Ron Villon is probably the best middle relief guy. He's dependable and he'll go up to 3 innings if you need him. Overall B-

19. Joe Torre- Considering the injuries, the team just keeps chugging along. Only 3 games back, and that's after Boston went on a 12 game tear! Does a great job of keeping a team full of superstars in line. I question his pitching decisions a lot, though. He takes too many risks with relievers. A

20. Batting/Pitching Coaches- Donny Baseball is shaping up to be a damn fine batting coach. He desereves a lot of credit for getting Giambi back on track and helping Cano to develop. And even A-Rod's been turning around since he's been working with him. Gator isn't doing too bad as a rookie pitching coach. Wright has gotten better, but Chacon has fallen off the map. Hard to tell. Over all B

21. MoneyMelon- Having another fantistic year keeping the seats warm. Probably should lay off the booze sometimes, but he's keeping the people in his section ammused. His cheering isn't very creative, but he's got heart. Willing to sit through any rain delay, and that makes him an all-star. Recently acquired a nice sig from Carrie on Newsarama. A+

Annihilation: Underrated Event

2006-06-17T15:11:00.000-07:00

So I've been reading this Annihilation thing that Marvel is doing. It's pretty big. A One-Shot, 4 mini-series and then a 7 issue series (Hmmm.......that format seems familiar for some reason). Under normal circumstances, I'd balk at a series like this. However, it's a bunch of cosmic Marvel characters and I've had a soft spot for them since I was a kid reading Infinity Gauntlet. So naturally, I decided to give it a shot. Afterall, it's by Keith Giffen and he's usually pretty solid. I just got done with his Drax The Destroyer series, so I figured this would probably be very similar.

Well, so far I've read the One-Shot and the first two issues of each of the minis. I figured, at best, only 2 of them would actually be good. And I was dead wrong. Every one of the series is actually really cool. If you like outer space stuff, then I highly recommend these.

My favorite one is Ronan. I always thought he was a cool chatacter and this series has been great. Nova is kind of like a Spidey in space kind of story. Super Skrull is cartoony, but a lot of fun and Silver Surfer is the first Silver Surfer story I've read in YEARS that I actually enjoyed. It's way better than that crap book they did a few years ago with the fortune teller in New Orleans and her missing daugheter and the kids being abducted by aliens and...........well........y'know, the less I say about that book, the better.

I'm very intested to see where Marvel is going with all of this. Could this have anything to do with Planet Hulk? Seems kind of interesting that Marvel chooses now, all of a sudden, to reestablish their cosmic characters, especially when they have Civil War going on at the same time.

And I'm really looking forward to the 7 issue Annihilation series coming up. Andrea DiVito is doing the art (if you don't know who that is, go pick up the early issues of The Thing) and Keith Giffen is doing the writing. Hopefully the quality on all of this stays high and the cosmic characters get some of the spotlight once again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed to see more of the Starjammers and the Shi'ar Imperial Guard in the future.

Thank God's That's Behind Us Part II

2006-05-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, I guess it's about time I wrapped this up, huh? The funny thing is, when I wrote Part One, I had just finished reading IC #7 and was all fired up to talk about it. But.......now it's been a while and I've moved on. But I guess I'll wrap this up for whatever sorry bastard is reading this.

Okay, the actual Infinite Crisis mini-series was rather umimpressive in the beginning. I mean, sure the art was nice, but it was just way too all over the place. As the story went on, they seemed to tie it all together and I was actually pretty happy with the ending. Superboy Prime being pushed through the Red Sun was a nice touch. And I liked how they didn't go the easy route of just killing him off. We'll actually get to see him again!

I don't know what people are bitching about with the ending. I liked it. I suspect this is yet another case of people getting their expectation up way too high. I mean, it's a comic book. It's not going to change your life. Get a little perspective!

But here's my biggest criticism of the whole thing.......why the hell did I need to read countless mini-series, one shots, tie-ins and specials? Honestly, I think the whole story could have been done in one big series. Maybe 18 issues or something like that. Instead, DC jacked me for a lot of money. And I felt pretty unfulfilled by a lot of that stuff other than Villains United. Oh well. Lots of other people liked it. I guess it's just not my cup of tea.

And now we're on to 52! (man, this crisis never ends!) So hopefully, after I shell out another $130, I'll actually know what the hell is going on in the DCU. :P

Thank God That's Finally Behind Us (Part 1)

2006-05-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, guess what? I finished reading Infinite Crisis. The whole thing. And I mean the WHOLE thing. Yeah, I'm one of those guys that read everything from Identity Crisis all to way to Infinite Crisis #7 including all the mini-series, one shots and tie-ins........well.......most of the tie-ins. I don't waste time on stuff like Aquaman and I really kinda skimmed some of those Outsiders books.

So now that this whole thing is over, I feel like it's finally time to give it a fair review. Now, from the get-go, I really wasn't digging this whole thing. Identity Crisis, in my humble opinion, was a stinking pile of poop. Sorry, I just don't need to see a lame superhero's wife being graphically raped. That's a bit too heavy for me. Then there was the whole mystery flame thrower thing which made no sense. And the revelation of the killer was Uber-lame. Sorry but the Atom's ex-wife? Are you kidding me?

I also found ti kind of funny that DC was going on and on about how Brad Meltzer is a New York Times Bestselling Author. I have news for you, people. There is a very long list of terrible terrible books that have been NY Times Bestsellers. Take Tom Clancy, for instance. Not a good writer. Sure he has some nifty ideas and apparently he knows alot about the CIA, but as far as literature goes, his books are crap.

Then Countdown came out, which was actually pretty solid. We had a cool mystery story going, a character I had actually heard of died and things started rolling. It got me really into the story. Granted, I've never been a big Blue Beetle fan, but it's better than seeing some b-stringer's wife get iced. And we got the sense that something BIG was about to go down.

To be continued.....

Sturtze Like Hell

2006-04-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, I want to start off by talking about something that annoyse the hell out of me......or should I say someone. I'm talking about Tanyon Sturtze. What is this guy's deal? Why do the Yankees keep this guy in the bullpen. Okay, he's had a few moments where he's gotten them out of some jams, but for the most part, this guy is the farthest thing from a lock since Hideki Irabu.

Let's take a look at his ERA in pinstripes:
2004- 5.47
2005- 4.73
2006- 4.76 (so far)

Lifetime ERA- 5.17

Not exactly overwhelming numbers. But Joe Torre keeps sending him out there. If I had my pick, I'd be sending Scott Proctor or Kyle Farnsworth out there in a close game. Hell, I'd settle for the peanute guy. At least he can throw with some accuracy!

And then there's the look on his face. Have you seen this guy? Look up "doof" in the dictionary and you'll find this picture: http://images.tsn.ca/images/stories/20040811/sturtze_83540.jpg

Honestly......when Octavio Dotel comes off the DL, send this guy to the minors or trade him for prospects.

Welcome

2006-04-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

Hi. Everybody has a blog these days, so I decided to jump on the bandwagon. Here you'll find me complaining about all kinds of things and discussing topics like baseball, comics, video games, etc. If anybody has any topics, let me know.......um........that is, if anyone is actually wasing time reading this.